Good morning

Mr Loh Meng See

Chairman, Central Singapore CDC and

Member of Parliament for Kampong Glam

Mr Gerard Ee

Nominated Member of Parliament and

Chairman, International Year of Older Persons Committee

Mr Jasons Lim

Project Chairman and

Chairman, The Culture Society Youth Group

Ladies and Gentlemen

I am very happy to join you here to launch the "Grandparents' Day". I believe this is the first time a special day has been set aside for our grandparents. I must commend the organisers, the Kampong Glam Community Club Youth Group and The Culture Society Youth Group, for being so thoughtful. The timing for this first Grandparents' Day is excellent - just at the end of our present Senior Citizens' Week, but just before the International Year of the Older Persons.

I happened to meet Mr Jasons Lim when we were at the Appreciation Tea Party for Volunteer Probation Officers some three weeks ago. I asked him how the idea of Grandparents' Day was conceived. He told me passionately how his grandparents had cared for him, and how he managed to learn about life and values from them and other older persons. I feel for what he said, and am touched by his sincere commitment.

Having a Grandparents' Day to remind ourselves, and to promote love and respect for older persons, so as to enhance inter-generation relationships is certainly most meaningful. As our society ages, such genuine sentiment will certainly make our society more caring and gracious. As one who would soon join the rank of older persons, I applaud this development.

However, I do feel that the significance of Grandparents' Day go beyond the society giving recognition to the older persons for their past contributions. Grandparents' Day will be even more meaningful if it also celebrates the grandparents’ current contributions. It is just like Fathers' Day and Mothers' Day are meaningful because parents are still giving so much to their children. Grandparents' Day will be more meaningful if grandparents play a more significant part helping to bring up their grandchildren, giving them care and love.

I know this idea will raise some eyebrows. So I exposed this idea with a few friends of mine. Their reactions were quite interesting. None of them questioned the logic of this idea. However, most felt grandchild-care was not exactly appealing to them. They felt after working so hard in their lifetime, they would want a restful retirement so that they could do their own things. I sense this feeling is quite common.

However, let's examine this idea objectively. To start with, I am not suggesting grandparent-care should replace parent-care. I am only suggesting grandparents playing a more significant part, with parents remaining as primary care-givers. This was in fact the case in the traditional extended families. However, the traditional extended family is becoming less common today, since most of our married couples buy their own HDB flats, usually in New Towns, and their parents prefer to stay in their old flats, usually in matured estates. So many grandchildren nowadays do not see their grandparents much. Even when they meet, there are some problems with language. In the Chinese community, for example, many English-speaking grandchildren have some problems communicating effectively with dialect speaking grandparents.

In addition, there is the instinct that older persons deserve a restful retirement. Grandchild-care does not sound restful at all. To the parents, it is not obvious grandparents are potential carers either. This is partly because they feel they should not over-burden the grandparents, and partly because they are not sure the grandparents can do the job well. Some fear conflicts between parents and grandparents because of differences in the approach to childcare. Since there are so many unknowns, would it not be wise not to talk about it?

I don't think so. Let us think about the real situation in an ageing society. By the year 2030, one quarter of Singaporeans, including myself, will be aged 60 and above. But older persons then will be healthier and better educated than the older persons today. We will have much less language problem with our grandchildren, as most of us speak and understand English and Mother Tongue. Our married children would be very busy with their work, more of their families would be double-income, and the education needs of their children would be more challenging because of the rapid technological advancement. Concern over moral education and proper role modelling for our grandchildren will be high. Our children would need reliable people to help care for their children (ie our grandchildren). If we offer to help, we will really give something meaningful to our grandchildren and our children. All three generations will feel genuine pride and joy on Grandparents' Day.

Genuine affection between grandparents and grandchildren have been celebrated in literatures in all cultures. An older friend told me as he felt time was starting to run out, he also felt much genuine passion towards his grandchildren, who remind him of new life and his own legacy in this world. On the other hand, a younger person who has built up a good relationship with his grandparents would feel that as he faces difficulties in life and over choices, he can seek inspirations from his grandparents' experience. Older people have a better feel of history and tradition, making them more effective in imparting traditional values and culture to the younger generation. They can also be more patient and more willing to listen, making it easier for the younger persons to talk with them. This was exactly what Mr Jasons Lim shared with me, so he felt passionate enough to start the idea of the Grandparents' Day.

Certainly this sounds very different from the current situation. I shared this idea with my friends. Some felt it sounded difficult. So I will not be too surprised if, ladies and gentlemen, you also feel likewise. Certainly, there will be a need for adjustments of mindset and stereotypes by all parties. The parents will need to allow the grandparents to play the grandchild-care role, and not be so possessive over the children as not to give any space for the grandparents. The grandparents and parents will need to have good communication so that their efforts are well co-ordinated. They will certainly need to agree on the areas of grandchild-care, and how this will dovetail with childcare, for their own individual cases. No two cases may be the same. They will also need to resolve their disagreements in ways transparent to the children. Remember, parents are still the primary care-givers with grandparents giving additional support. The grandparents will need to understand the grandchildren, listen to them, and speak at their levels. Patience and time are the vital ingredients here.

Sounds like a lot of effort. However, consider the stake. If properly done, our younger generations will have a more balanced perspective of senior citizens, and not automatically associate the senior citizens with the frail persons they meet while doing social service in old folks' homes. Proper perspective of ageing would be vital in our effort to face up with the challenges of an ageing society. In addition, the grandparents will have new opportunities to give to the family. They will feel joy and pride in giving, and enjoy mental and physical well-being for their contribution. The parents will feel better assisted in their difficult dual roles to be family as well as career persons. The grandchildren will be better cared for, supervised, guided, and supported. Older persons in the family will again be regarded as a "treasure", as in the traditional Chinese family model. They will genuinely be regarded as valuable resources by the society. There will be more interests in the various HDB schemes that encourage different generations to stay near to each other. Filial piety and care for the elderly will come very naturally. The family will be stronger and more cohesive, and so will the society.

It may take a while for us to rediscover the extended families. Meanwhile, it would be good to think about how we could regularly remind ourselves the important roles of grandparents. I hope Grandparents' Day will be celebrated by more every year so that it becomes a permanent institution from our hearts. The Day can serve as a reminder that our grandparents want to feel that the society values them for their present and future contributions to their families, in addition to appreciating them for their past contributions. This way, Grandparents Day can achieve similar significance as Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day. So let Grandparent's Day today be a start towards a more enriching family experience between ourselves, our children, and our grandparents. Have a Happy Grandparents' Day.

Thank you.